The Problem with Feelings.....

The problem with feelings and sharing them.... Buckle Up!

First off.... People don't care. oh sure they say they do. They say "I'm here for you" but in reality they aren't. Now don't get me wrong! They mean well! They want to help, at least I'd like to think they do.... but in all honesty they are either just nosy or sit and wait for a chance to interject their personal issue or how "aunt Brenda" had that problem once.

No.

NO NO NO!

My feelings about feelings.....
I am NOT someone who shares how they feel. Don't get me wrong I have a TON of feelings but I don't share them often if ever. Been rejected by other humans too many times I suppose.... I usually just cry in the shower so no one knows and then I stuff. I stuff and stuff and stuff until all those feelings are able to be covered with a smile, a laugh or a joke. And by stuff I tell myself things like "its not gonna help anything to say it out loud" OR "Nancy is worse off than me so why should I be upset over this". You get the idea.

So now that you know that about me, re-read the first point.... If its already extremely hard for me to share what I'm feeling, and the 9 times outta 10 response is a self-centered one, then why in all of the green and blue earth would I bother sharing?!?!?!

Lessons to take away from this....
1) Do you listen to reply or do you listen to hear? Our society has trained us to be quick response, selfish humans. Its not on purpose mostly. Its just a bad habit. But try to be mindful and break that habit. Really listen when someone is talking to you. Pay attention to their words, how they are feeling. You might save their life....

2) This one is for me.... or maybe you if you tend to "stuff".... Work on being brave. Being open and honest with those you KNOW care about you. Take a deep breath and just say it.... be ready for the possible selfish response, but don't shy away from the leap of feelings....

Trust me... I'm talking at myself more than anyone else right now.
Just thought you might get it too....

Going to cry myself to sleep now....
R.

Tribe Talk....

Tribe: A group of friends that becomes your family.
     The people that will be there for you no matter what.
                                                           (urban dictionary)

I am someone who needs to process things I'm learning or going through. Some people process in healthy ways - talking, crying, writing. Some ways aren't so healthy - food, drugs, alcohol. I used to be someone who processed in unhealthy ways, but since I found Jesus I try to work through things using writing or talking or praying. I'm hoping this space helps me keep a healthy balance.

I also want this to be a place that reaches other women too. Society wants us to think we are alone. That no one else could possibly know what we are going through or how we feel. The total opposite is true! Together we are stronger, we can carry each other and encourage one another.

In Ecclesiastes 4:9 it tells us; 

Two are better than one,

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

I've always been a loner. Sure I'm friendly and outgoing and I KNOW a lot of people. But on a close level, I haven't really had relationships like that in the past. Maybe that's why I took up writing. I can get it all out and leave it on the page. Thankfully I have 2 ladies now that I lean on when I really just can't get it together. I've also learned you have to be SUPER picky who you chose to let that close to you. Most people (even in church sadly) either aren't good people, or aren't in a place in their walk to be able to encourage you and point you back to Jesus. 

That's the key, the bottom line - do the people in your life point you to Jesus, His truth? or do they come along side you in complaining or gossiping? No one is perfect obviously - but the fruit in their lives should show a consistent change and walk with Jesus. Without that they will just pull you down. 

All of that to say I'm kind of excited about this blog! God is moving and He's teaching us things! Lets learn from eachother and grow together. He is faithful! Hold onto each other and Him.....